I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
