soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
