So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Randomize
