Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
