I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
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