I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Randomize
