Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Randomize
