he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Randomize
