none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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