i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
