Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
