I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Vodka?
Forever.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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