so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
