I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
