Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
