I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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