Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
