he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
