Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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