some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
