what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
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