i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
