its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
