i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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