There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Randomize