so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
