I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
