you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Randomize
