ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
