Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
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