I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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