He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
