I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
50% drunk capacity currently
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
