K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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