It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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