i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
