ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Randomize
