Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Randomize
