my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
