she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
