So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Randomize
