I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
