On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
