I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Randomize
