remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Randomize
