the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
