You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Randomize
