just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
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