Well douche your snatch and let's go!
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
