He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
What drink are we having for lunch?
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Randomize
