i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Randomize
